the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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