You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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