Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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