First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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