u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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