Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
