i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
