How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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