OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
