i barfeds in our rink
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize