Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
