Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
