I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just high enough for therapy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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