You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
