you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
