I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
