..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
