do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
