I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize