yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
