she smelled like a LAN party
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize