I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize