Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize