So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
