At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
