We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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