No more Irish car bombs ever.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
