I'm jealous of your bromance
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
