I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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