marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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