Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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