so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Come on in and take your pants off
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