How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
