At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
