If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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