I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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