i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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