drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
