You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
