he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
