Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
