That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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