I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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