He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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