she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
