My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
