glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
