One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
