oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
