OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
