You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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