Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
