Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
