Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
