I wannas sexs uuuuu
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize