Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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