I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just gargled with NyQuil
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