My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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