well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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